“If I could just meditate, I wouldn’t be Googling relaxation techniques.” Sometimes, the usual relaxation techniques might not provide the relief you need. If you’ve found yourself in this situation, it might be time to try something different.
- Orgasms
- The 5-4-3-2-1 reality check
- Drinking cold water
- Changing outfits
- Gaming
- Punching or yelling
- Long showers
- Butterfly hugs or caressing
Every activity can be substituted, mixed and alternated. Just understand what it does for you and reproduce a similar (UNHARMFUL) activity that will work similarly for you.
The article will cover the basis of traditional techniques and how or why the unorthodox techniques may work for you as well, alternative suggestions are also mentioned.
Traditional Relaxation Techniques
Let’s briefly explore some traditional relaxation techniques to understand why they are so commonly recommended.
- Deep breathing: getting oxygen in the brain helps calm the mind
- Yoga/Tai-Chi/Meditation: mixes the breathing with stretching adding the benefit of sensory relief and can induce a slight endorphins, serotonin and dopamine release (all the happy hormones)
- Listen to music: sound waves is another sensory relief technique that can bring down anxiety
- Exercise: reduces stress through getting more oxygen to the brain and allowing release of the happy hormones as well
While these traditional methods are effective for many, they don’t always work for everyone. That’s where unorthodox techniques come in—offering alternative ways to manage stress that might resonate better with your unique needs.
Unorthodox Techniques
You know you best, understanding the basic reason for each technique will help you figure out what will work best for you.
Having said that, the suggestions below have shown positive responses from most of the clients I have worked with for moments of anxiety and stress.
1. Orgasms
While orgasms can be a powerful tool for stress relief due to the release of endorphins, serotonin, and oxytocin, it’s essential to approach this technique with balance. Over-reliance on sexual activity, whether solo or with a partner, could lead to issues like sexual addiction or emotional dependence. To maintain a healthy relationship with this technique, consider setting boundaries or integrating it into a broader self-care routine. Remember, it’s just one of many tools in your relaxation toolkit. Having said that, it can effectively calm highly stressful days (see link for orgasms 101).
- Orgasms also release oxytocin, sometimes called “the love drug.” These hormones increase feelings of happiness and other positive emotions, and they counteract the “stress hormone,” cortisol.
- It can help regulate oxygen levels in your brain
- It induces similar effects of exercise, deep breathing and stretching, all in one.
Aligning a time of the day to self-pleasure can amount to having better productivity simply by eliminating stress over-load. Alternatively, if you are in a relationship having dedicated sexual routine during the day-time can have the same benefits for both you and your partner.
2. The 5-4-3-2-1 reality check
This method serves as a grounding technique for all your senses and is particularly powerful during unexpected stressful moments. It is a simple 5-step trick, where you will state the following out loud:
- 5 things you can see (eg. cup, keyboard, table, chair, vase)
- 4 things you can hear (eg. traffic, fan, typing, music)
- 3 things you can feel (eg. t-shirt fabric, chair material, mouse)
- 2 things you can smell (eg. coffee, perfume)
- 1 thing you can taste (eg. coffee or mint or water)
This activity works with your senses and does an excellent job of bringing your existence to your conscious mind. By purposefully bringing your awareness to your senses, you can regain composure, which will automatically calm your mind and help you better handle those pesky stressors.(see link for grounding 101). Alternatively, you can practice any grounding activity that works for you, for example think of tv shows your like, your favorite music artists etc.
3. Drinking cold water
Gulping down a glass of water not only aids hydration but also provides relief from anxiety. Drinking cold water has a pseudo effect, tricking the conscious mind into feeling ‘cooled down.’ Perhaps best not to do this if you have a cold or are susceptible to cold based illnesses.
- Cold water, with its temperature change, provides a brief distraction for your senses, which may be enough to prevent an outburst or panic attack.
- In warm weathers bringing basal temperatures down have shown to reduce anger outbursts.
- Taking a break to drink gives you just the time you need to calm down, the temperature change causes a mild breathing increase which can also benefit your brain with the bit of extra oxygen.
You can try holding a cube of ice as a substitute to this, or drinking a glass of your favorite beverage warm or cold. The point is to have a temperature change to engage your senses for a brief moment and to get a few second breather while doing the activity to steer you away from the stress response.
4. Changing outfits
Switching outfits can be a secret key to relaxation. Sometimes, the source of stress is the material of your current clothing, the pressure it exerts, or simply boredom with what you’re wearing. Sometimes our clothes can add to depression, so be mindful of textures and your comfort.
- Changing your clothes gives you a break from all the problems mentioned above
- The new textures relief you from feeling bound to the old material and the old feeling of stress and can reinforce the mind to believe your cleaner and fresher
- For a lot of people, especially those with SPD (sensory processing disorder), materials can become repetitive and the feeling of it on your skin becomes dull and boring, switching this up provides a sense of calm.
This is a simple activity that can save yourself being worn out because of your clothes. Another, excellent substitute to inducing calm with texture is having a plush or play pillow. This is especially helpful for those with SPD; having something plush or comforting to hold can ease your mind. Make the particular object your personal thing that calms you and keep it for you and you alone. There are many alternating sensory objects to chose from.
5. Gaming
Particularly cozy gaming induces relaxation and can be quite calming. Any type of gaming, even those that are violent and intense, can be quite exhilarating, helping you feel calmer and serving as a great outlet for pent-up emotions. However, it’s essential to be mindful of screen time and the potential for gaming to become a distraction from real-world responsibilities or a source of additional stress. To maintain a healthy balance, set time limits, take regular breaks, and ensure gaming remains a positive part of your relaxation routine rather than an escape from dealing with stressors. Remember, moderation is key.
- Gaming engages your mind away from stress and can potential give you a much needed break
- Induces a sense of achievement while enhancing cognitive skills
- May help with social, memory and motor skills, all of which add up to reducing anxiety and promoting healthy functionality
- Gaming psychology shows genuine results with reduction of stress and increased relaxation
This works best for releasing pent up aggression, where you can also replace this watching gore movies and shows. It helps greatly to wind down from a hard day of work, where you can replace this with comedy shows and movies as well. It can also help you deal with self-esteem issues, which can be replaced with joining online chat communities or support groups.
6. Punching or yelling
Grab a pillow and punch it until you have no strength left. You could also hold it against your face and yell into it until you lose your voice. Although this may seem painful, it’s similar to other adrenaline-releasing activities, providing a calming ‘cool-off’ period. Many researches show that this can INCREASE aggression, however, expression is better than suppression any day. When engaging in punching or yelling as a stress release, it’s crucial to ensure you’re in a safe and private environment where you won’t disturb others or harm yourself.
- The punching releases pent up aggression
- The yelling releases pent up pain
- Both of which lead to drop effect, where you faced your emotions and managed to let go of it all
- Allows you to feel what your feeling without hurting anyone
- Reduces overlapping of emotional baggage
If this method feels too intense, or if you’re concerned about increasing aggression, consider other physical activities like running, dancing, or even a brisk walk. These alternatives still allow for the release of pent-up energy but in a way that might feel more controlled and less risky for some individuals.
Simply take boxing classes, go hard-out at the gym, whichever fits you best. The point is to let go but not hurt anyone, including yourself. Axe-throwing, plate-breaking. paintballing or whichever new stress relief activity that is now in fashion in the local you live in will do the same. Get it out of your system before it makes its way out by itself, which then becomes ugly. The result is going to be a much calmer, more composed and settled mind to live with.
7. Long showers
If you have a bathtub, a long warm soak could be the best way to relax. Add a couple of scented essential oils, and you’re in for an aromatherapy session. The same can be achieved with a long shower. A long warm shower with a fragrant shower gel could help ease of a lot of those stressful nerves. Long showers can result in skin dehydration and overall affect your skins natural oils, so be mindful when using this technique.
- Long showers mechanically reduce stress by improving circulation and relaxing muscles
- Gives a sense of refreshment and “resetting”
- Brings a calming sense of closure to a long day
- Addition of scents bring in the impact of aromatherapy, which works with calming the nerves through the sense of smell
- The mind often calculates showers as a notion of “washing away” which induces relaxation
Steam bath, sauna, messages and a bath can have similar effects. Taking time to self-care and just reset can take you a long way with bringing down the anxiety, the stress and the nerves.
8. Butterfly hugs or caressing
The final technique is actually very well studied, a butterfly hug (for butterfly hug 101) can be performed to yourself by you. This is essentially you patting yourself to calm. It is especially helpful during anxiety or panic provoking situations.
A similar relaxing technique can be used if you have a partner or trusted someone who can do this for you. Lay down and ask your partner to gently caress you at any part of your body, usually the back. The repeated motion of this after a given amount of time can induce a chemical response from your body that helps you calm down and heal even.
This technique can also help with sleep difficulties, breathing issues, and trouble calming down. When involving a partner or trusted individual in your relaxation routine, such as through caressing or physical touch, clear communication is essential. Always ask for and give consent, and discuss what feels comfortable and safe for both parties. If touch is triggering due to past experiences, consider starting with self-soothing techniques like the butterfly hug before involving others. It’s important to create a supportive and understanding environment for these techniques to be effective.
Remember, relaxation is a personal journey, and it’s important to be patient with yourself as you explore different techniques. The key is to stay attuned to your own needs and preferences, allowing you to find the perfect method that brings you peace and calm. Do not get too disappointed if you can not do any of the traditional, or even the unorthodox techniques, it just means you have to figure out your own Zen first. If you need help, feel free to email us. We may have a suggestion for your specific case, and your experience could help others in similar predicaments.
Good luck and happy relaxing!
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